Our software DOES take into account the difference in par.

  1. For head to head competition...

    man shoots 4 on par 4
    lady shoots 5 on par 5
    The hole is tied because they both shot par.

  2. For aggregate competition

    Man shoots 4, partner shoots 4 for total on the hole of 8.
    Lady shoots 5 and partner shoots 4 for a total of 9.
    Hole is tied. 8-par 4 = 4:  9-par 5 = 4
    Ladies only get credit for 1 extra stroke....2 is TOO much.

This is a compromise with a decision by the USGA (United States Golf Association rules). 

The above (our software) is actually in VIOLATION of USGA (United States Golf Association rules) 

USGA ruling (USGA manual page 110 Section 9-4a/2)

Question: In a match-play competition one hole is par four for men and par five for women. In a match between a man and a woman, if both score par, what is the result of the hole?

Answer: Par is irrelevant. The player who completes the hole in fewer strokes wins the hole.

Note: You can view the USGA manual at www.usga.org

I think the USGA's reasoning is that the RATING of a course indicates the difficulty of a course...not par.  Thus if the women's course is harder to play than men this will be reflected in a difference in rating...thus a higher handicap for women...who will receive more strokes.